balance...

Balance... I still haven't figured that one out? Marriage, kids, house, laundry,work? I always go to bed at night thinking "oh i need to do this more" or " I need to be better at this". The pressures that we put on ourselves to be "perfect" really are stressful. I obviously know there is no perfect but for some reason I expect a lot. Even though Im with my kiddos A LOT!! I always feel like Im not there enough I mean how is that possible? I work such minimal hours so Im actually with them 95 percent of the time but I still feel like I dont do enough, I get mommy guilt. When were home I decide to tackle random projects like the other day I was cleaning my closet, filing, getting rid of and just organizing. P would come in and tell me what a mess I was making haha! Ryder was watching a movie and I was obsessively sorting and cleaning. All the while I thought I should be doing something fun with them, I should be playing with them, they're bored etc etc. It never ends! I always try to do playdates, swim, other random activities to keep them having fun and they do have fun its just me, I always worry Im not doing enough. My kids are happy, they know they are sooo loved by many, so I know all of this is me. Maybe I'll just chalk up the way I feel to hormones haha! Does anyone else have mommy guilt even when you know you shouldnt? Another hard one to balance is marriage especially with the little ones. I have always said that the hubs and I were going to have date nights atleast every other weekend, ya right! Those fell to the way side years ago I wish they didnt but they have. Its so hard with little ones sometimes getting a sitter is more work than its worth and it shouldnt be because a solid mommy and daddy means solid kiddos. We usually just laugh at the idea we enjoy being with our babies but its important to make time for us too! Another tricky thing to balance. With or without our weekly dates I still love that man more than anything! Another thing to add to my list for the 2000th time... date night ha! I hope one day it all clicks but for now I will just enjoy this life cuz gosh dangit its a great one!!!
Okay so that was a major rant but I have been thinking about this for awhile. I seriously need to simmer down now ha!

ramble

Before I even start I have yet to do an official announcement yet, that yes!! I am preggers. Most everyone already knows as I am a whopping 21 weeks yay over half way:-) We have found out that we are having another little girl should be interesting haha! It's been crazy I have covered every emotion possible during this pregnancy. When I first discovered that I was indeed pregnant I cried! I was shocked! I was on the pill! We were done having babies!!! I was not expecting this, I just sold so many things on craigslist! How am I going to tell Ryan? How am i going to handle 3? My hands are so full with the 2 I have! Im telling you I wasn't in a good spot. When I told ryan aka bawled my eyes out blubbering the words I got this in return ...................................................................................................................................!!! Ya! that! lol He was shocked as well! I know that it sounds brutal but I just want to be honest! In the beginning up until Im magically around 14wks I am sick, miserable, to climb out of bed and feed my children was a huge challenge, to shower, to put on makeup, to do my precious daughters hair which for those of you who know me know that she doesnt leave the house "un done" lol but she did. I continued to do hair, barely. Another challenge with this pregnancy have been headaches uggh the headaches! My poor babies:-( thank goodness for my family, my mama and sis were always there on my super bad days. Tyenol wouldn't touch these bad boys so I talked to my Dr. several different times about these and he finally prescribed vicodin.... huh? say what? A narcotic? Cant be legal! It did get bad enough a few times where I did take it the worst part is it didn't wipe it out. So I decided if I am going to take these then it has got to be worth it and it wasnt! Soooo back to the drawing board ughh! Shockingly when I went back again they said to try excederin migraine once again huh? This is my 3rd pregnancy and I have yet to hear that one but once again it got bad enough and I tried it and it worked! Obviously I only take it when I absolutely need to but I have two other babes that need their mama so there are times when a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!
So now that I am 21 weeks I feel great! The sickness is gone and I feel normal again, I have energy and Im on the go go go! I'm in such a better spot than in the beginning and I cant be more thankful to have this new little bundle growing inside of my little belly:-) I by no means want to sound ungrateful because I truly am not! I know that this was meant to happen for our little family and I couldn't be happier it just took me awhile! I am thankful that I can have these babies there truly is nothing better. I think of the future and it makes me smile;-) I know my hands will be even more full than they are now but they will also be more full of love too, is that possible? Every mom out there knows that out of control feeling of love you have for your babies it almost hurts and I just think I get to have even more of it! Now I get to worry like, please let this baby be healthy, please let this baby be healthy! Im a worrier! Im excited! And if its possible I am already nesting Ive got to be, I have organized cupboards, drawers, closets, shelves, bought bins etc.. My goal is to have a spot for everything and everything in its spot and Im getting there;-) I love that organized feeling there really is nothing better!!! Now I get to figure out bedrooms iy yi yi! I will have to post pics of my play room it is boy pretty much which points to ryder but I dont want to give him the boot from the room he's had for 4 years:-( I feel guilty! I know that if I make it fun and exciting he will be happy about it so we shall see! Anyway enough of my ramblings for now! ha!

Sea World

WARNING: PIC OVERLOAD! HA!

So here we are at sea world and like I had mentioned in a previous post we had such a great time! We seriously managed to cover it all:-) Exhausting but a blast!!!
Love my little Peety Pie! She was so excited to ride this ride with daddy and she had sooo much fun! She seriously could hardly wait for it to start and daddy just enjoyed seeing her having such a fun time:)

Love her!! She was so fired up! The pic above was a little blurry but thats what happens when you dont know how to work your camera hee hee!

One of our favorite things we did was the Shamu show! So funny that I've known about that show for years and I've always thought it was really neat but I tell you what when I saw those bad boys in action I was seriously amazed and excited to see these huge animals coming out of the water the way they did!!! WOW! The fact that they can train them to do what they do is incredible as well! I think we all were seriously impressed! Definitely the top 2 fave of the day.
We had such awesome seats that we bought the shamu rain jacket for us to share primarily for Ryder;-) Those whales can seriously spray water like nobodys business... amazing!

See! We were so excited!

One of my favorite pics of Ryder! We were at the Sea Lion show which was so great and funny as well. He had daddys hat on and thought these guys were so silly!

Honestly how do they do that? lol Im such a kid I seriously thought constantly that day how incredible it was that they can train these wild animals to do these crazy things... so neat!

P was rockin out she was clapping the whole time! Thats the spirit little lady:-)

This here little guy is my Mr. Adventurist... he decided that he wanted to ride the water rapids ride and this was the after math... Luckily mama thought ahead and brought an extra change of clothes bc he was soooaked!

But... the fact that he looked like this on the ride was all worth it! The kid loved it and wanted to go again. I was a little anxious, I didnt know how he would do but he loved it! So stinking cute!

Before the big ride we were watching to make sure he understood what it did and he insisted! So off he went!

To be honest I was a little unsure of the "pet show" but once again I was amazed it was adorable! Ryder LOVES animals most kinds so when we needed to kill a little time we opted to go to the pet show. It was so cute! They trained all types of random rescue dogs, cats, and a pot belly pig to do some incredible things. Im so glad we went and definitely recommend it if you are thinking of going! Come on if your going to go ya gotta do it all:-)

Another favorite was feeding and petting the dolphins... so cool! That was the hubs favorite! It was really neat, when they take you into where the dolphins are, you get put with your own dolphin and your own trainer and the dolphins yours to feed and pet for a little while! They really are so cute!

Goof balls! Ole penny and pete! They thought they were so funny.... they kinda are!

My favorite peeps! I really am a lucky gal!

Love these two... this is pretty typical, P adoring her brother and Ry acting like she has the plague lol! I have 3 or 4 more looking like this but he is much less happy ha!

Thats my boy! The awkward smile but I love it... its so him! Pictures are always a pain for him.

This polar bear was ginormous! We had been watching two others and then big daddy came out of the cave and we all said "holy crap" he was huge! They were neat to watch they swim pretty fast and they go pretty deep to catch fish!

Phew! So that was the gist of our sea world trip. We have so many pictures that I love I was a little obsessed with taking them but I didn't want to miss a thing! We had a great time my favorite part was just being together as a family and seeing my kids having such a great time! There really is nothing better! I plan on making a fun family vacation once a year it really is so important and so needed! Cant wait for more:-)

Carlsbad 2010 #1

So our family vacation was FABULOUS!!!! Ryan and I took off on thursday the 24th with the kiddos and headed to carlsbad! The drive of course is BRUTAL ugh! Not only is it so ugly but it is loooong! Paisley fell asleep pretty quick but woke up in yuma :-( she was not a happy camper she said "I not see the beach" haha! I told her she wasn't going to for a few more hours ha!:) So we continue to drive and drive and drive and then theres a detour! Yep! Something about a fire. Then we had to take another detour once we were on the highway to carlsbad because of a car wreck! I wanted to cry lol. When we finally got there I was so happy to see our friends who we would be joining:) This is what I pulled up to... a beautiful beach house and 70 degree weather, yessss! We hung out for awhile got situated and then decided to take a walk grab some yummy dinner and head down to the beach so the kids could see it! So with our blankets, food, and kiddos in tow we headed down!

When we got there the kids were beyond fired up! Ryder ran and ran and chased the waves and miss P was very content digging her hands and toes in the sand:)

Ryder and his buddy had soo much fun just running away from the water they could have done it for hours:) They did :-)

Yep! The boys are in their undies haha! We couldn't keep them out of the water and knowing my child who cant have his clothing get wet we opted to take them off before they got soaked! It was so fun to watch my kids! Ryder has been looking foward to the beach for literally months! Ever since our good friends invited us along on their annual beach trip! He (we) could hardly wait!

This is the first time he saw a seagull... so stinking cute and excited! He said mom its a Seagulllll just like in my books ha! This child is beyond excited for sea life, aquariums, basically anything that has to do with the ocean he's in love! He knows the names of things I never even knew existed! So to finally let him experience all of this made my mommy heart so happy! We then continued back to the beach house to hang out. We chatted and visited for awhile and then hit the sack! Friday we headed to sea world and had pretty much the BEST time as a family! We covered it all!!!:-) I will post tons of pics from that!!! I was so stinking tired after that adventure I could hardly move lol! I would LOVE to go back! The next day we had another fabulous day at the beach which was sooo much fun! Ryders favorite was going out with daddy and holding his hand in the waves and paisley was good just chillen and playing in the sand! Sadly, ryan had to leave on sunday and we were so sad!... seriously sad!:-( We had such a great time together that I was bummed to see him go! The kids missed him a ton and so did I. I have to give props to that man he's an amazing dad truly amazing! He spends so much quality time with these babies and it makes me so happy that my kids have such a wonderful daddy they love him and he loves them! He's way more fun than me. Next year we were invited back:) Im hoping he can stay the whole time, im gonna cross my fingers!!! More pics to come....